Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How do you "explain" God?

When someone doesn't believe in God, how do you explain what you feel in His presence?

That is the question I am struggling with tonight.

How can I tell them the peace I feel when I choose to pray when in an unpeaceful situation?

How do you explain that bad things happen to everyone, but God DOES love us?

Especially when I still carry hurts, burdens and scars from my hurts? I would like to say I am "healed" because I know Christ. But even though HE forgives and FORGETS, I do not. I am human and I remember the things I did to others and myself that caused pain.

Yet, I can see God working in all of that. What Satan intends for evil God can turn good.

But when someone does not even believe there is a God?

Is all I can do PRAY?

I'm a fixer, I believe I should have some profound wisdom and magical words to help them FEEL God.

I'm a major screw up and feel like a HUGE hypocritical Christian. Then I remember WHO sins, EVERYONE. Being a Christian does not make you sinless and perfect. It makes you forgiven. It means you are choosing God. It also means you won't choose God, sometimes. Sin.

I think of my answers to prayer and times in my life that are not coincidence. They are God working. And I just want to list some here as my "proof" of God.

1. My father killed my mother and then killed himself when I was 19 years old. I forgive my father.

2. Elaine's birth story. Not going into labor and having to deliver c-section to find that the cord was around her neck very tightly, twice. I cried for 2 weeks for pure thankfulness of what did not happen that could of. God will only give me what I can handle. I have always prayed often that I never be able to handle my children dieing. While someday they will die, Elaine did not die on her birthday.

3. Lindsey selling "his house" after were married I nagged him for TWO years to sell that house. I stopped nagging and started praying. TWO weeks later he bought a for sale sign. To me, proof that when I let go and let God, He moves.

4. Lindsey was a 3 times a week DRUNK. Not drinker, DRUNK. Only God could bring someone away from that cold turkey with no physical or emotional withdrawal symptoms and no desire to drink. He has been sober for 8 years now.

5. I write out a budget and it does not make any sense that we should be able to pay our bills, Yet we tithe usually giving more than 10% of our income back to God himself. He is the great provider and the bills are always paid and on time. Even though on paper it doesn't seem possible.

6. Corey has a tumor in the neck of his right femur. We found out about it when he was almost 8 years old. He had an x-ray because of a very bad belly ache and seen it on the film. Many doctors visits and tests later the tumor has not changed and he has never had to have surgery.

God will not give us more than we can handle. I'm sorry that what you were given SUCKS. Mine sucks, too. But with God I have peace and hope of eternal life with Him. I know things of this world will tear me down and make me ache, but this life is temporary. A preparation for eternity with Him, because I choose to believe in His Son, Jesus Christ. God understands injustice. He chose to send His only son to die for MY sins, so I could live with Him forever.

If you would like to know more about the God I know and love I would love to answer in anyway I can. I am no bible scholar and I may not have all the answers, but I will do my best to find them.

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