Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Heavy heart = Thankful heart

The adult son of a person dear to me was diagnosed today with Hodgkins Lymphoma. My heart is heavy for their family.

I am saddened by my own thought process right now. I find myself thankful that God does not feel I could handle that in my life. I am thankful it is not my child. My heartaches for her, but I have faith in my God that He is already seeing her through this time in her life. I know He would do the same for me, but still I am thankful. I would be a wreck.

Seeing this happening in her family has reminded me of emotions I had almost 5 years ago when a bone tumor was accidentally found in Corey's right femur. Then over the course of several months the diagnosis being confirmed over and over again that it was a benign tumor.

He still has check ups, the last one being a year or two ago, another good reminder to call and see if he is due for his next checkup yet. He has never had a biopsy of the tumor, which always leaves this margin for error in my mind..sigh. As he approaches puberty I have to remember that God is in control. New concerns enter my mind of that tumor changing as he changes. Of that tumor affecting his growth. And I have to remember that if He brings us to it (whatever it is in our lives), He will bring us through it. God will only give me as much as I can handle. I pray often that I will never be able to handle one of my children having a serious illness or dieing.

Lord Jesus, be with the Rudd's as they have many choices and decisions to sift through. Give them wisdom and your strength. Give them unity and peace, Lord. A peace that passes all understanding. Bless them Lord as they seek Your direction and guidance. I thank you for them. They are such a blessing. My heart is heavy for them, God. Please ease all trouble minds and hearts tonight as we are all praying for Caleb and his family. Bring us all peace Lord. Amen. 

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