Thinking

When I stay up too late, I think too much.

That is a stand alone blog in and of itself. If I don't say so myself, which I did..so ummm.

I just went through my old blog posts and tried to see the growth in my life. What, wait...did u read that? Try again, I think you missed it.

"I just went through my old blog post and TRIED to see the growth in my life"

I spend too much time feeling defeated by my circumstances that I can't change, still.

I don't love my husband like he deserves, still.

I miss lost loved ones with a passion bigger than life, still. More so that I have new losses.

I corner the market of self pity and envy of others that have it together, still.

I fall short of giving God my all, still.

Lord, help me get this right! Help me give You the place You ask of for in my life. First place.

I put a sign on my computer about a year ago that says, "Have you spent time with your Savior?" I told myself I could not flip it over the back of the monitor until I had done just that. Spent time with my Savior in prayer and Bible reading. It lasted a month, if that. Its still there, folded back behind my computer with its little tape tab. In the back, where I have continued to put God in my life.

Why is doing the thing I want most so hard!?