Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I am not new to forgiving others.

I was able to forgive my Dad for killing my mother and then himself. That was hard, but not like this. He was dead, I did not have to have him in my life. Tho I miss him dearly and still love him. I KNOW how to forgive and the healing it brings.

But today, I struggle with it. I just wanna be mad for a while. Ever been there?

My almost 7 year old daughter drank gasoline that my husband put in a pop bottle this past Saturday.

She is fine, thank God.

It scared me greatly. He was careless. He doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation, either. She did not drink much and it mostly made her act slightly drunk. Tired and dizzy. Extreme stomache pain. Gasoline breath for three days.

I thank God He knew I could not handle something horrid happening to my little girl and He spared her life.

I want to cry everytime I think of what might have happened. I was not home when it happend. I arrived a half hour after. My husband had not called poison control to see if she should have milk, what to watch for, or if she should go to the ER. He did wash her face and have her rinse her mouth with water.

I understand that it only hurts me to harbor this anger and unforgiving attitude I hold on to. I know it will take root and grow into bitterness.

Then why? I know others struggle with bigger issues than this.

How do I get past this Lord?

Please pray with me about my attitude.


  1. Wow, Heather. That is hard. Things like this happen and you realize how easily it could have had a worse outcome. I remember when Westin fell down the stairs when he was maybe 8 months old. I was pissed! Jason was careless and didn't get the basement door closed all the way and the dog popped it back open. Jason was up and down the stairs installing satellite tv in our new at the time home. I will always remember that day! I heard the clunk, clunk, clunk down the stairs and I ran to the stairs to see my baby just laying at the bottom. I screamed which in turn made Westin scream. In hind sight, I scared him. He was fine. But boy was I mad. Give it time. We all make mistakes. We usually learn from them. I have accidentally run a red light before. Was anyone hurt? No. Nothing happened...but it could have. It happens.

  2. Michelle, Thank your for sharing that story. It helps me remember accidents do happen. I need to say that I have forgiven him, now. It was so scary and I was shook up for days. I know worse things are happening in the world, sigh. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in ME. Ya, know?