"Do everything without complaining or ARGUING" Philippians 2:14....
WHAT!!??!! We are not supposed to fight and argue, God?
I remember a line in my "marriage counseling" stuff before we got married in a video we watched...an older mother was telling her adult daughter something, after her husband (the daughters father) had just yelled at the mother and the daughter asked her mom if she was gonna take that? she said "I will win my best friend back faster with kind words, than with harsh words." or something like that..but that's the point.
I am NOOO good at that! I am trying. Most of you know how well I speak my mind. Sometimes a personality asset, sometimes a flaw.
I get discouraged, almost daily, with the choices I make in my marriage. How to speak to my husband, respond to him, "serve him" (ohhhh bad word bad word..I am sure u r all saying that!), and submit to him as the head of the house. When I struggle with this things HOW can I get down on him for struggling with his "husbandly duties?" Things like loving me, kindness, serving me, providing....but u get the point.
He has his struggles just as I have mine. All to often its like Sharon, my pastors wife, used to tell my pastor, "Do you really think I am out to get you?" I am so blessed to have so many good godly examples of "how to do marriage." Then I hear of PASTORS doing it VERY wrong...sigh. NOT my pastors, but one woman had said 3/6 of her pastors in her lifetime had affairs on their wife's WITH someone IN the church!
And fidelity is not the only issue couples struggle with, just being KIND to one another...realizing we ARE in this TOGETHER...we have a common goal. We will NOT always agree on how to reach those goals or even what those goals should be!
But all in all, "Are we really out to get each other?" Some days I think YES. Honestly, most days I think YES!!! YES at the top of my lungs YES. But really are we? Honestly I think we just forget we are on the SAME team. We forget to build up and not tear down.
We know better than anyone out there how to push each others buttons. When I am worn out and tired from unexpected LONG days. When he has something on his mind to get done and I want something else done.
I forget to take a step back and take control of my own actions. To rely on God to deal with his bad attitudes. I know prayer works, I am just such a control freak!
God does NOT lie...he does not say if we love each other we should hurt one another and fight. We will have disagreements, but we need to speak the TRUTH in LOVE...
1 Corinthians 13:4-9 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,...
6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never fails