Letting me put my cold feet on you, but you better NEVER try to put your cold feet on me.
Cuddling with me to warm me up on our camping trip in September. Then going to your cold side of the camper because you know I can't sleep with someone near me. Every. Single. Night.
Seeing you cry when the cat died.
Moving us out to the country, so I could have my little farm.
You never ask me, "So, What did you do all day?" Exspecially when I haven't showered, the house is a wreck, and I haven't even thought about dinner. Never.
Trusting me, when I feel so undeserving of your trust.
Never having a shut off notice because you are a wonderful provider and hard worker.
Getting my cat from outside in the window well in the middle of a tornado warning.
Sitting in the van with 4 kids while I run in the store for "just a few things". We all know I come out with a cart full. And your hardly ever rattled because it took too long.
Missing you even when we are in the same room.
Scared to let myself love you so much that I would hurt, that I pick at your faults. And you time and time again forgive me and continue to love me so much it hurts.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Progress
My progress with The Four F's
1. Faith - I will memorize 4 new bible verses.
I have taken an index card and wrote down 2 bible verses on one side and the 27 books of the New Testament on the other side. I spent 2 days remembering to look at this. REALLY need to focus on this. I have the tools, need to use them.
2. Fitness - I will do cardio 20 minutes a day 3 times a week.
Jan. 11-15 25 minutes of Cardio every morning. In addition to my cardio in the a.m. on the 15th I had 2 1/2 hours of moving bales of hay. One hour of that was spent hauling 2 bales at a time up hill on my kids sled to my barn. The lack of plowing a path to the barn won the war of the van getting anywhere near the barn w/ a loaded trailer of hay...sigh.
Jan. 16th and 17th I spent mostly in bed sick. :-( but hey I lost 6 pounds on those two days alone! NOT the way I want to loose weight, but I am not in the market to gain it back either ;-)
Jan. 18th (today) I was up again this morning with my 25 minute cardio workout dvd.
So, this goal is going VERY well.
3. Food - I am going to eat only one serving size of one sugary processed dessert type item per day.
Epic fail. Except maybe the days I was sick...I think I bit off more than I could chew on this one. I have decided to abandon this goal and exchange it for drinking water. The recommended amount of water a person is to consume in one day is 1/2 their body weight in pounds turned into ounces of water. So, if you weigh 200 lbs you should consume 100 ounces of water. I don't mind saying I have a goal of consuming 100 ounces of water and that is not my recommended amount. That is my personal goal. I hope by drinking my water and keeping up with my fitness that 100 ounces will be my recommended amount. (hint: I should be drinking more water.)
4. Finance - Once a week I will spend money on something fun to do for/with my kids.
Jan. 8th The kids did their bowling league. Sometime that week we also rented a video game and movies. Corey went to Barakel for winter camp the weekend of the 14th.
We are borrowing a snowmobile from Lindsey's boss and had to buy gas for it. Lindsey has been taking the kids for rides on it.
Friday the 21st we are going to an indoor waterpark for the day!!!
So, as long as I can come up w/something for next week. I have MORE than met the goal in this area. Maybe, I over did it?
So, how about you? Are you doing some life evaluations and goal setting changes. It is the time of year for resolutions, after all. Why not make those resolutions into a reality by setting goals to make them happen. One step at a time.
If you have set some goals how they going?
1. Faith - I will memorize 4 new bible verses.
I have taken an index card and wrote down 2 bible verses on one side and the 27 books of the New Testament on the other side. I spent 2 days remembering to look at this. REALLY need to focus on this. I have the tools, need to use them.
2. Fitness - I will do cardio 20 minutes a day 3 times a week.
Jan. 11-15 25 minutes of Cardio every morning. In addition to my cardio in the a.m. on the 15th I had 2 1/2 hours of moving bales of hay. One hour of that was spent hauling 2 bales at a time up hill on my kids sled to my barn. The lack of plowing a path to the barn won the war of the van getting anywhere near the barn w/ a loaded trailer of hay...sigh.
Jan. 16th and 17th I spent mostly in bed sick. :-( but hey I lost 6 pounds on those two days alone! NOT the way I want to loose weight, but I am not in the market to gain it back either ;-)
Jan. 18th (today) I was up again this morning with my 25 minute cardio workout dvd.
So, this goal is going VERY well.
3. Food - I am going to eat only one serving size of one sugary processed dessert type item per day.
Epic fail. Except maybe the days I was sick...I think I bit off more than I could chew on this one. I have decided to abandon this goal and exchange it for drinking water. The recommended amount of water a person is to consume in one day is 1/2 their body weight in pounds turned into ounces of water. So, if you weigh 200 lbs you should consume 100 ounces of water. I don't mind saying I have a goal of consuming 100 ounces of water and that is not my recommended amount. That is my personal goal. I hope by drinking my water and keeping up with my fitness that 100 ounces will be my recommended amount. (hint: I should be drinking more water.)
4. Finance - Once a week I will spend money on something fun to do for/with my kids.
Jan. 8th The kids did their bowling league. Sometime that week we also rented a video game and movies. Corey went to Barakel for winter camp the weekend of the 14th.
We are borrowing a snowmobile from Lindsey's boss and had to buy gas for it. Lindsey has been taking the kids for rides on it.
Friday the 21st we are going to an indoor waterpark for the day!!!
So, as long as I can come up w/something for next week. I have MORE than met the goal in this area. Maybe, I over did it?
So, how about you? Are you doing some life evaluations and goal setting changes. It is the time of year for resolutions, after all. Why not make those resolutions into a reality by setting goals to make them happen. One step at a time.
If you have set some goals how they going?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Copy Cat Inspiration
My friend Ashley Pichea over at AP Freewriting 101 has begun a goal setting section on her blog titled 3 in 30.
I am going to follow along with her on this, though I will be working in fours. I am late so I guess I will be doing 4 in 28 or 27 depending on how you want to view it. I plan on starting TODAY so to me that is 28 days right? Not gonna do the math on it...so sorry if I am wrong.
I may not be doing this in a very public way, based on my track record of keeping up with my blog. I will atleast post my goals here.
I like the three areas she is covering, so I am going to copy cat that as well. Some of her goals sound pretty darn close to things I want to be achieving as well. I will try to be a little different though. The Four F's is what I will be deeming them.
1. Faith - I will memorize 4 new bible verses.
I know that sounds a bit vague. I feel like I should pick the verses out now. That would mean thinking. I have some idea of what ones, I just need to look at a make shift list I have started of verses I would like to have committed to my memory.
2. Fitness - I will do cardio 20 minutes a day 3 times a week.
I feel like cheating in this area already. I cleaned the barn for 4 hours on Saturday, with my wonderful husbands help.Which is "weight lifting",right? Wet dirty bedding is heavy! I am sore from that still. I really let the barn get away from me and build up. So, I choose cardio and set a time to do it each day and how many days each week. Instead of a goal of a certain number of minutes for the whole month for excercise in general. As my mind is already looking for ways to have already achieved the goal. Since I am starting these goals today, not back dating the start of my goals, I am also avoiding the ability to cheat and count things I have already done.
3. Food - I am going to eat only one serving size of one sugary processed dessert type item per day.
Anyone who knows me knows this is HUGE. I could sit down w/a bag of cookies by myself everyday and end up with just the empty bag left. Cut a pie into 8 slices. There are 5 in my family. Everyone gets one piece, except me. I make sure there are no fights over the last 3 pieces by eating them myself.
This means one item and one serving of that item according to the packages serving size recommendations.
4. Finance - Once a week I will spend money on something fun to do for/with my kids.
Yeah a section on finace that I start out with spending on fun things?
Things like going ice skating or a trip to Pirates Island water park in K-Zoo. Ok, so this is kind of a cheater goal since I have 2 fun things already planned this month. Ice skating and Pirates Island. But in my defense, we still have to follow through and actually do them! :-) Plus I have NO clue what I can budget for after picking a bigger one like a trip to a water park. I will cheat on this one as well and call their Saturday morning bowling league as part of this. Since we have been cutting back and not going every week for league, I feel I am entitled to say, "Yes, actually going bowling this month would count. Yet I would only count it as one thing. Even if we go more than one Saturday." That sounds like a good compromise with myself.
So, how about you? Are you doing some life evaluations and goal setting changes. It is the time of year for resolutions, after all. Why not make those resolutions into a reality by setting goals to make them happen. One step at a time.
If you need help with how to set reachable goals visit Ashley's blog for more help here.
I am going to follow along with her on this, though I will be working in fours. I am late so I guess I will be doing 4 in 28 or 27 depending on how you want to view it. I plan on starting TODAY so to me that is 28 days right? Not gonna do the math on it...so sorry if I am wrong.
I may not be doing this in a very public way, based on my track record of keeping up with my blog. I will atleast post my goals here.
I like the three areas she is covering, so I am going to copy cat that as well. Some of her goals sound pretty darn close to things I want to be achieving as well. I will try to be a little different though. The Four F's is what I will be deeming them.
1. Faith - I will memorize 4 new bible verses.
I know that sounds a bit vague. I feel like I should pick the verses out now. That would mean thinking. I have some idea of what ones, I just need to look at a make shift list I have started of verses I would like to have committed to my memory.
2. Fitness - I will do cardio 20 minutes a day 3 times a week.
I feel like cheating in this area already. I cleaned the barn for 4 hours on Saturday, with my wonderful husbands help.Which is "weight lifting",right? Wet dirty bedding is heavy! I am sore from that still. I really let the barn get away from me and build up. So, I choose cardio and set a time to do it each day and how many days each week. Instead of a goal of a certain number of minutes for the whole month for excercise in general. As my mind is already looking for ways to have already achieved the goal. Since I am starting these goals today, not back dating the start of my goals, I am also avoiding the ability to cheat and count things I have already done.
3. Food - I am going to eat only one serving size of one sugary processed dessert type item per day.
Anyone who knows me knows this is HUGE. I could sit down w/a bag of cookies by myself everyday and end up with just the empty bag left. Cut a pie into 8 slices. There are 5 in my family. Everyone gets one piece, except me. I make sure there are no fights over the last 3 pieces by eating them myself.
This means one item and one serving of that item according to the packages serving size recommendations.
4. Finance - Once a week I will spend money on something fun to do for/with my kids.
Yeah a section on finace that I start out with spending on fun things?
Things like going ice skating or a trip to Pirates Island water park in K-Zoo. Ok, so this is kind of a cheater goal since I have 2 fun things already planned this month. Ice skating and Pirates Island. But in my defense, we still have to follow through and actually do them! :-) Plus I have NO clue what I can budget for after picking a bigger one like a trip to a water park. I will cheat on this one as well and call their Saturday morning bowling league as part of this. Since we have been cutting back and not going every week for league, I feel I am entitled to say, "Yes, actually going bowling this month would count. Yet I would only count it as one thing. Even if we go more than one Saturday." That sounds like a good compromise with myself.
So, how about you? Are you doing some life evaluations and goal setting changes. It is the time of year for resolutions, after all. Why not make those resolutions into a reality by setting goals to make them happen. One step at a time.
If you need help with how to set reachable goals visit Ashley's blog for more help here.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Letter
Dear Blog,
I promise I have not abandoned you.
I have had many thoughts of writing on your blank canvas that patiently waits for my words of wisdom.
Oh, but life has been calling and would not wait.
Not to say life is no longer calling, I just miss you wee little blog. So, today I stopped life a minute and stopped in for a visit.
I hope to find more time for you soon.
For now I am off to knit, sew, homeschool, milkgoats, cook, clean, talk with a friend and be wifely....amongst MANY other things.
Love,
Inspired to live in real life, for now ;-)
I promise I have not abandoned you.
I have had many thoughts of writing on your blank canvas that patiently waits for my words of wisdom.
Oh, but life has been calling and would not wait.
Not to say life is no longer calling, I just miss you wee little blog. So, today I stopped life a minute and stopped in for a visit.
I hope to find more time for you soon.
For now I am off to knit, sew, homeschool, milkgoats, cook, clean, talk with a friend and be wifely....amongst MANY other things.
Love,
Inspired to live in real life, for now ;-)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Interview with Elaine
I found this on another blogger's site and decided to try it with my kids. Here is Elaine's answers.
1. What is something mom always says to you?
Go to your room.
2. What makes mom happy?
Picking up your room.
3. What makes mom sad?
I don't know.
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Tickle.
5. What was your mom like as a child?
Being good.
6. How old is your mom?
Aaaaa LOT. (Followed by laughter.)
7. How tall is your mom?
Four
8.What is her favorite thing to do?
Play on the computer.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Play on the computer and stuff. Go out to eat. Go to a friends house and that's all.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Strawberries. (I would become famous for strawberries?) Yeah, cause we picked strawberries.
11. What is your mom really good at?
Ummm, Eating..hahaha.
12. What is your mom not very good at?
Mmmmm, picking leaves.
13. What does your mom do for her job?
Nothing. oh wait, you go to the bank to get money.
14. What's your mom's favorite food?
Crackers. (we are eating crackers btw)
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Nothing.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
I don't know. A mom.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Go out to eat.
18. How are you and your mom the same?
Cause we have the same hair.
19. How are you and your mom different?
Cause we are not the same size.
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because she likes me and she got me ice cream. Actually I got me ice cream and mom got her ice cream.
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
McDonalds...no no no. I know I know. No I don't know. Our friends house, Christina.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Seconds
For as long as I can remember I have put the people who care the most about me....second. At best.
I push them away. I hide my deepest thoughts and secrets from them. I do that in the name of "not hurting them". So, I tell myself.
I keep them at arms lengths, though they are pushing to know me completely. I lie by omission. All the while I pull in the ones that treat me the same as I do those that love me most. I reach out to those that set me aside and make me feel like second, at best.
I do dearly love those that love me fiercely. Yet, I continue down this self destructive path. This path that keeps everyone at bay.
Those that make me feel second are safe to get close to. They may never want to know me fully, there for I won't allow them to hurt me completely. So, I tell myself.
I have what I would call "a fear of abandonment". I keep the ones that might actually stick around at arms length. While allowing the ones that are seemingly digging their way out of my life to consume my time, energy and love.
Whats more is that I do all this knowingly and willingly. I self "medicate" this way. I willfully choose it.
I am truly sorry to those who have gotten lost in the after math of any of my push and pulls in life that I use to keep myself "safe".
Please don't give up on me. I am in here somewhere. While I may never give fully of myself to those that love me most. I will not make those kinds of promises. Promises I don't think I can keep. Old habits die hard.
I do truly know your love and I ache for any pain I may have caused you. As well as pain I know I am sure to cause you in the future. Its the nature of my head strong self defeating behavior. Once again, I am sorry.
I push them away. I hide my deepest thoughts and secrets from them. I do that in the name of "not hurting them". So, I tell myself.
I keep them at arms lengths, though they are pushing to know me completely. I lie by omission. All the while I pull in the ones that treat me the same as I do those that love me most. I reach out to those that set me aside and make me feel like second, at best.
I do dearly love those that love me fiercely. Yet, I continue down this self destructive path. This path that keeps everyone at bay.
Those that make me feel second are safe to get close to. They may never want to know me fully, there for I won't allow them to hurt me completely. So, I tell myself.
I have what I would call "a fear of abandonment". I keep the ones that might actually stick around at arms length. While allowing the ones that are seemingly digging their way out of my life to consume my time, energy and love.
Whats more is that I do all this knowingly and willingly. I self "medicate" this way. I willfully choose it.
I am truly sorry to those who have gotten lost in the after math of any of my push and pulls in life that I use to keep myself "safe".
Please don't give up on me. I am in here somewhere. While I may never give fully of myself to those that love me most. I will not make those kinds of promises. Promises I don't think I can keep. Old habits die hard.
I do truly know your love and I ache for any pain I may have caused you. As well as pain I know I am sure to cause you in the future. Its the nature of my head strong self defeating behavior. Once again, I am sorry.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
How to get a new toilet, I hope.
Step 1. Buy crappy handle that keeps falling off, to replace the old one that broke off.
Step 2. Since the handle keeps coming off you have to lift lid off the tank to flush the toilet.
Step 3. Have child lift tank lid to flush toilet and drop lid into toilet tank.
Step 4. Have husband tell you that the seal is broke from said child dropping the lid into the tank.
Step 5. Go to investigate and clean up water. Find that the toilet tank is cracked from the dropped lid.
Step 6. Use a bucket of water to flush toilet until I have time to go buy a toilet and install it myself :-)
You see we have too much to do right now to get ready for the county fair. I am staying home from fair to take care of the goats, so I will probably be playing plumber as well. Not like I have not removed and installed a toilet before! Just was not planning on having my alone time spent on plumping projects.
What I really wanted to do was clean house naked...lol. Guess I can install a toilet naked to make up for it...ehh? I think NOT.
Step 2. Since the handle keeps coming off you have to lift lid off the tank to flush the toilet.
Step 3. Have child lift tank lid to flush toilet and drop lid into toilet tank.
Step 4. Have husband tell you that the seal is broke from said child dropping the lid into the tank.
Step 5. Go to investigate and clean up water. Find that the toilet tank is cracked from the dropped lid.
Step 6. Use a bucket of water to flush toilet until I have time to go buy a toilet and install it myself :-)
You see we have too much to do right now to get ready for the county fair. I am staying home from fair to take care of the goats, so I will probably be playing plumber as well. Not like I have not removed and installed a toilet before! Just was not planning on having my alone time spent on plumping projects.
What I really wanted to do was clean house naked...lol. Guess I can install a toilet naked to make up for it...ehh? I think NOT.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)